Piggage!

Upon learning that my girlfriend loves sauerkraut, I knew that I had found someone really special. The fact that she is also a huge fan of soup in general, was also a blessing, because I love to cook soup, I love to feed other people soup, and I always cook way too much soup.

But still, one problem remained, if I was ever to take the relationship to the next level: how could I make her love my homeland? What could possibly convince her that Door County is the absolute best place on the planet? I had tried showing her pictures of the islands and lakes. I had tried to entice her with tales of high adventure, usually involving some beach and the company of other esteemed people, such as Mr. Zambezi, Frank Maloney, and the Notorious P.I.G. It was all in vain. But there remained one way that I hoped would work...

Through her stomach.

Nate JacobsDecember 24, 2015nate jacobs, piggage, pig, pork, soup, pork soup, sauerkraut, pickles, bratwurst, door county, wisconsin, cooking for your ladyComment

Satante's I-Shart-On-Your-Sanctions Schi

A few months back, Western counties slapped my adopted homeland with a barrage of sanctions. Russia responded with banning Western food imports. The result is that my money doesn't go far, and Western food is basically unheard of. With the ensuing economic collapse, shit's gotten out of control expensive. The country's in a slump and I'm down in the dumps. Life for the Russian people fucking sucks.

Well, no, it doesn't, as this country's endured far worse. But it's not a hell of a lot of fun.

And there's one answer, one saviour. It doesn't heal the sick and raise dead, and sadly, it doesn't come from boiling clouds of thunder. My saviour comes in the form of the most traditional of Russian dishes. I'm not talking borsch--that stuff was invented in Ukraine, and though it's a staple of the Russian diet, I'm not going to give our neighbour to the West any more attention...no, they've caused me enough headaches, particularly during the summers of 2008 and 2010, well before the current fiasco.

This saviour is schi, a traditional Russian cabbage soup that will warm your soul and give you the power to judo kick your economic woes in the balls.

Nate JacobsMarch 5, 2015soup, schi, russia, nate jacobs, satante, cabbageComment

Satante's Haram Pork Soup

I'm a big fan of Middle Eastern and Central Asian cooking, but the whole thing about pork being haram (Arabic: forbidden) really bums me out. Legend has it that ancient Kievian Rus took up Christianity because the proto-Russians liked to drink too much. And so my love of pork keeps me from converting to some Abrahamic religions, just like my love of going commando keeps me from becoming Mormon, and my lust for beef keeps me from becoming Hindu...you get the idea.

Russians living in Uzbekistan have gotten around this by producing plov with pork (see my other article), and if you go to Orthodox Armenia, you can find delicious pork dishes with more exotic spices being prepared. Still, how was I to incorporate the noble pig into the culinary delights of Afghanistan to please my pork loving family? I came up with this, using the traditional Afghan tastes of garlic, cilantro, turmeric, and chilis with pork.

So, here's my soup. By the way, you can use other meat too, for a more "traditional" taste, preferably mutton, but that shit's just way too expensive for me.

Taste testing the forbidden fruit.