12/6/15

Let’s get one thing straight: sometimes, on weekends especially, I’ll be too busy getting drunk or otherwise messing my brains up to write anything. You understand, I’m sure. Most of you don’t want to read anything over the weekend anyway. Save reading for the office, so you get paid to do it.

In that same vein, always wait ‘til you get to work to take your morning poo if you can help it. Very little in this life can satisfy a (wo)man more than shitting on the clock. Shitting on the clock is what this country was founded on. I stand by that.

Watch “A Very Murray Christmas” on Netflix. It’s funny, original, & really put me in the Christmas spirit. Well, that & all the holiday power hours I’ve been doing. Look, I’m a drunk. Sue me. Anyhow, “A Very Murray Christmas” is worth your time if only for Miley Cyrus & George Clooney’s respective appearances. All the music is crescent fresh, though.

Of course, being a pervert, all I’ve been thinking about since viewing the special is whether or not Bill Murray banged Miley Cyrus. Good on both of them if it happened. 

So what else? The Consummate Gentleman has been working hard on his porn reviews. Who am I kidding? That guy is either jacking it or napping. Such is the life of a porn connoisseur. Hopefully he’ll wipe the jizz off his fingers long enough to finish his first review this week. I’m excited for y’all to meet him. 

Enjoy your Sunday folks. Use sports as an excuse for drinking all day.

Frank X Maloney