Congratulations! You've Killed Your Fucking Business!

One doesn't have to be well connected these days to hear accusations that the music industry is dying. Gene Simmons has recently proclaimed rock to be truly dead due to illegal downloading and the evils of digital music. While one can't deny that the computer age is changing the way that we get our entertainment, I wouldn't liken it to killing music. And it's not only music that is changing, but movies and books as well. Some claim that books will no longer be produced in the next 20 years. Frankly, I couldn't really give a fuck, nor do I think that books or vinyl will ever really go out of style. Rather, it's the way that we choose to procure such items that has and will continue to change.

There are two stores in my area that played a very strong role in my cultural upbringing which no longer exist, and for good reason. One was a music store, and the other a chain bookstore. Amazon.com has both made them obsolete, but I'd like to think that I had a little part in their demise.

N.P. YuggothJuly 20, 2015morality, n.p. yuggoth, death metal, opinion, businessComment

When Homeslice Comes To Town/The Mystery Of The Broken Soap Dispenser

My first year of college has been rough on me. In the opening months, I broke up with my girlfriend of three years, only to find that my university is not full of eager and willing replacements. Not to mention they're really not anything to write home about, if a poll on the most unattractive college girls in Playboy (or some other men's magazine) is to believed. I had imagined something akin to the girls in Party Animal: long haired maidens doing aerobics in spandex in front of the dorm. Instead, I get birkensocks and combat books. Beurk!

This has left me sexually frustrated, bitter, and insanely thirsty for strong drink.

Luckily, I met my pair of best friends, Alex and Ice Dogg the first day of uni, and we hit it off immidiately. Ice Dogg takes out his sexual frustration in the form of heavy drinking and street fighting, whereas Alex just naturally has an innate lust for alcohol. By February, however, Ice Dogg has been sidelined by a girlfriend. Whatever. Good for him. Alex and I continue our quest for rock bottom.

N.P. YuggothMarch 28, 2015n.p. yuggoth, party, 80s, alcohol, booze, drunkComment

In Defense Of The Fart

Fart. I smile every time I read that word: every time I hear it spoken; every time someone lets fly the audible anal manifestation of one. My sense of humor clearly remains on the juvenile side, but if you don’t have a similar reaction, I can’t relate to you. If your sensibilities are such that you are not amused by all the meaning and emotion that are implicit with the broad concept of the fart you are probably best described as a fart sniffer. Or perhaps you're just an old fart. The fart label is reserved primarily for those who do not embrace it. The fart at it’s most basic level is the passing of air from the digestive tract through the sphincter and into the ether. This involves varying degrees of sound and scent, each attribute combining to give each fart it’s own personality. That is all very straight forward. The depth comes into play when we add social setting to the equation of the fart. It can elicit emotions and fears--from relief and elation to guttural horror--and embodies the purest form of universal humor. Examine your own relationship with the fart. Everyone has moments of triumph and tragedy centered around a fart or series of farts. Some farts of triumph and victory can turn to the depths of embarrassment and personal pain that may follow you for years to come.

Mister ZambeziFebruary 24, 2015fart, farts, gas, ass, butt, toot, mister zambezi Comment

(Most) Video Reviews Suck

I can't argue that the internet is a great tool that has given an outlet for voices the world around that would otherwise go unheard. These range from novelists and critics to philosophers and armchair politicians. Though one might not exactly agree with all of these voices, or even find them to be of any degree of quality, they have their place on the web. I certainly count myself amoung them, and Food and Pussy is a good example of one of those voices that might not appeal to everyone.

But there are a few things I just can't bring myself to stomach. And those are video reviews.

Nate JacobsJanuary 13, 2015nate jacobs, video reviewsComment

No Absinthe--No Vagina Monologues

Senior Year of University; some Wednesday near Valentine's Day

The night isn't looking promising. My two best friends, Alex and Ice Dogg are heading off with their girlfriends or doing things at the frats where they live.

"Are you up for some drinking tonight?" I ask Alex as we smoke outside of the cafeteria.

N.P. YuggothDecember 14, 2014n.p. yuggoth, absinthe, vagina monologues, drinkingComment

Miley Cyrus Is Not The Issue Here

If the last century was one of noise, the 21st finds itself plagued by incessant and seemingly infinite racket. Social networking websites masquerade as ways to bring humans closer together, but generally result in making us jealous, loud mouthed, and narcissistic imbeciles. Our news feeds stream constant reminders of things, people, emotions, etc. that, perhaps, we’d like to have, but at the current moment have no means of obtaining. For me, this means that I feel longing and envy when photos of women for whom I have sexual and/or emotional attachment appear on my feed. For others it might be a friend’s new car, or an ex getting married, or an enemy from high school achieving great success before you do. Whatever it may be, we are in constant need of “emotional enemas.” Social networking sites, as has been stated by many before me, also allow for a whole slew of idiotic and asinine banter that causes real life emotional distress. We only “like” things we agree with, are only “friends” with those who share our ideology, and are not afraid to shun and bully those who may disagree with us. And really, for all this “connection,” the reasons we keep coming back to these sites are a deep fear of loneliness and an endless need for approval. These are problems that enslave us to advertisements, fill us with useless desires, and leave us suspended in a constant state of dissatisfaction

Frank MaloneyNovember 15, 2014miley cyrus, frank maloney, repost, aldous huxley, silence, drugs, weedComment

Russian Toilet Etiquette

Nate JacobsNovember 4, 2014travel, russia, nate jacobs, toilets, bathroom, etiquette Comments

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Taste testing the forbidden fruit.

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