She was undressing me. I tried unlacing my shoes, but that turned out to be too formidable a task for my bumbling fingers. Razzie lit candles. Not just a few, but dozens. A huge portrait of Jesus adorned one wall of her living room. One of those Passion of the Christ type things, with the crown of thorns, and blood all over his face. More Halloween than Christmas or Easter.
Somehow, she got me into bed. I was lying naked on that bed, and she was trying to get me ready to copulate. Some guys are able to perform with a BAC of .20, but I'm not one of them. I've got to give Razzie major props: she tried. She tried really hard. But nothing happened. I only stopped her because I felt her trying to put a finger up my ass.
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