12/16/15

Warning: this edition of the Food & Pussy Daily is a continuation of the Daily published on 12/10/15. You might want to read that first if you’re one for understanding stuff.

Out through the garden gates we went. There’s a slightly wooded area behind the FPIH & in that wooded area are three camper trailers that F&P employees use for fucking. Whom are they fucking? Visitors, adoring fans, hookers, etc. It’s all in the name of research!

Two of the trailers were already swaying ferociously, & I was glad to see our staff so devoted to the job. Zambezi pointed me towards the lone stationary trailer. “She’s in there. Enjoy!”

I looked back at Yuggoth & the CG, both of whom were rubbing their hands in anticipation for what awaited me. “Give it to her, man!” encouraged the CG. Slowly, I ascended the trailer’s three-step staircase & opened the door.

The trailer smelled of woman’s shampoo, coffee, & sex. On the counter in the kitchenette, the coffee pot sat half-full, which explained one of the scents. I walked down the narrow hall, past the bathroom, & into the bedroom where Gwen Stark lay nude on the fold-out bed. So this was no trick. But what brings her here? Why?

“I’ll bet you’re wondering why I’m here,” she said before I got a chance to speak, “and why I fucked your friends.”

“I must say, I am a little curious as to your motivations, Ms. Stark, even if I am delighted by your dropping-in.”

“Please, address me as Gwen, Francis. What brings me here is your little website. As you might guess, food & pussy are two of my favorite things.”

“You’re quite wise, Gwen!” I interjected.

“Yes, well. As I was saying, I was searching for one or the other thing to satisfy my hunger when I stumbled upon your site. After reading it, I had to come find you men & see if the ass-eating bit was just for show. Your friends sure convinced me that you’re all for real.”

“I’d be more than happy to eat your ass, Gwen, but my friends also say that your pussy is magic.”

“I wish I could speak to that. All I know is what I’ve heard. That creampie-ing me results in a psychedelic experience. I suppose you’d like to try?”

“If you don’t mind. Shall I eat your ass first?”

“Please.”

So I ate out Gwen’s supple little asshole, which was an incredibly well maintained & delicious snack, & proceeded to fuck her. I don’t need to describe here what an unmitigated professional piece of pussy Gwen Stark is, so it was within the first few minutes of banging that my vas deferens sprung into action & her heart-shaped vagina coaxed out my seed. The usual orgasmic tinglings were accompanied by psychedelic anxiety as I felt my “soul” shoot out of my body & into space-time.

Tearing through eons of history, I saw infinite worlds of light & color be born & die in reverse. I knew quite well I was on a trip back through time, to the defining moment of our universe. I felt (& still feel, now) overwhelmed by the truth & reality of what was happening to me. I was going to watch the birth video of the known universe. I grew giddy with anticipation. What does this all mean? Nevermore shall I have to pose such a query!

Then everything stopped. I found myself suspended in infinity, staring directly into an asshole. An asshole of cosmic proportions. No matter existed here, only space-time & this, the asshole of space-time. Asshole in space-time, to be more clear. I floated in awe of that silent, eternal void, for a moment, until the asshole began to quiver & and I was shot back across time & space into my body by the force of the cosmic asshole’s fart.

And that’s the story of how fucking Gwen Stark proved that all of existence is nothing but a big old fart.

Frank X Maloney